Dear Father,
I became my highest version today. Well, yeah – my highest, I suppose, but at the moment I’m dead numb. Dead numb to the pain that it’s taking to sustain me in this state of mind. I think that the reason that I feel so much in pain is that this so called ‘civilised world’ is 100% against Immanuel and the awakening of Christ Consciousness. Hence the reason I am being forced to take neuroleptic drugs. Which are having lots of different effects on me that they have no right to inflict upon anybody. Like lethargy, increased appetite, loss of appetite, somnolence, apathy, insomnia, irregular sleeping pattern, anhedonia (a huge one). In fact let me just touch on anhedonia. From what I believe it to be, anhedonia is the inability to reward oneself or experience pleasure of any kind. I think the antichrist revels in the fact that most ‘antipschotics’ cause severe anhedonia and that this is the main reason they are prescribed. Because if I were to pursue what brings me joy and pleasure, then this world would be saved in an instant. No less than because I enjoy helping people. Amen.
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